


Rum and sugar icing

by Morethancupcake



Series: Sugar and spice [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but not really, just a tiny bit of Angst, pining!dean, sad!castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 22:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2790404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Castiel is sitting on their bed. His face hidden into a coat he remembers being Balthazar's. He's crying."</p><p>Dean thinks Castiel is just missing Balthazar and wants to comfort him. But maybe he's wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rum and sugar icing

**Author's Note:**

> day 10 : baking holidays treats

Dean Winchester isn't a jealous man.  
Well.

It's all a matter of perspective.

The thing is, he wasn't scared of losing Castiel. Not really. He knew for a fact there was a lot of people out there who would love nothing more than to get their dirty hands on his boyfriend, and it's quite funny, because he used to be one of them. He knows how it feels to try to flirt with the beautiful man with blue eyes, only to meet kindness and complete lack of interest.  
He had tried, oh boy he had. But at that time, Castiel was just Sam's roommate and best friend, and he was dating Balthazar and had been truly and utterly happy.  
Dean remembers the awkward nights, being invited to their movie nights, Sam and Castiel blissfully unaware of any lingering tension, while Dean and Balthazar were pretending to get along to spare them any drama. Thinking back, Dean has respect for the man, because he had been so obvious, he had fallen in love so completely, it was impossible to hide.  
But now he gets it. Castiel would never do anything to hurt his boyfriend. 

And maybe that's why the one and only person Dean Winchester is jealous of is Balthazar Roche, because he had once been Castiel's entire world, while Dean had just been a spectator.

He doesn't know much about the break-up. He knows it had a lot to do with Balthazar's partying, and Castiel's devotion to his work. He just knows they never really screamed at each other. There was no real fight, a few tears when they said goodbye, and lots of promises to always care for each other.  
Two years later, Dean was kissing Cas for the first time on their ugly couch, and he still can't believe it happened, sometimes.

He looks at his boyfriend, now, and while he's worried about what he sees, he still is amazed by the fact this wonderful, fabulous man decided to be with him. 

Dean had been looking for him, wanting to know if they had plans, because Benny had talked earlier about getting the boys to grab a beer, and Dean could use the little me-time before Christmas. He had been a little surprised not to find Castiel in their room, napping as he was supposed to. The holiday season always mean Castiel turning into this giant sloth, sleeping burried under comforters and plaid, and sometimes even Dean.  
But not this time.

Castiel is sitting on their bed.  
His face hidden into a coat he remembers being Balthazar's.  
He's crying.

Dean doesn't know what the etiquette is at this point. He's not mad, but he can feel himself getting upset. Because it's one thing to know about his man's past, but it's another to see something so raw, and personnal, and to feel like a complete stranger. Like he used to feel.

"Cas ?" He speaks softly and enters the room, because no matter what and why, Castiel is still Castiel, and seeing him cry is like a punch in the gut. "What's wrong ?" Castiel just shakes his head and doesn't answer, and, at loss at what to do, Dean just slides next to him and hold him close, putting his lips on the dark hair. He runs his fingers down Castiel's back, he traces the muscles under his soft grey shirt, and he tries not to feel sad, or hurt, but to just be there for his lover. After a few minutes, Castiel's sobs have stopped, and he's now resting heavily on Dean, still not talking. "You're missing him that much ?" Dean is stroking his hair, and Castiel jumps at his words, almost hitting him in the face. 

"No." His voice is even lower than usual, and Dean just smiles and wipes the tears on his face. "No, it's not that at all, Dean." Castiel's eyes are pleading, and all Dean can do is smile because yeah... he might be jealous of a Balthazar from the past, a past when Castiel weren't his, but things are different now. "It's just... I remembered..." He exhales slowly. "I just remembered Balthazar gave me the coat for the colder days, and I could smell his perfume and... " He can see Dean's eyes getting a little sad and he rushes. "Dean, I can't even feel anything toward him. I used to think we would get married, one day, and now he doesn't mean anything to me. All I can smell is his perfume, and I remember the fun I had during the holidays, and all the good memories, but he's not part of it anymore." He shakes his head and smiles a sad little smile Dean tries to kiss away. "It's crazy, to think he used to be my everything, and now I can't even remember his face." 

"It is." Dean is still caressing his hair. "It is, and it's a scary part of love." He kisses him again, lingering to taste a little, to tease himself with the savor that is Cas. He can see his boyfriend is not ready to talk more, it's already a lot for Castiel. Later, at night, in the dark, he would pry more words out of his lover. Not now. "I was wondering is you were in the mood for some baking ?" Castiel's eyes are wide and a tentative smile is playing on his lips.

"Christmas is right around the corner, and I feel like this house is lacking in cinnamon cookies, what do you think ?"

"Are we talking about rum and sugar icing ?" Dean laughs and kisses his man properly, taking him up with him. 

"Come on, lover boy. I believe we have some baking to do."


End file.
